What’s New with You?
By Editor at Large Lynnelle Wilson
Starting over is messy as hell.
One moment, you’re sailing through life, feeling you’ve got it figured out. The next? BAM. LifeQuake. The ground shifts and suddenly, nothing makes sense. That was my 2024. In the span of 7 months:
- I got divorced.
- I lost two beautiful souls—my dear friend Albert and my 15½-year-old best boy, The Littlest Pablo.
- I sat in the grief, uncertainty, and sheer discomfort of it all.
- And then? I did something some would say was radical.
I sold almost everything I owned and moved to France.
Not because I had a perfect plan. Not because I was fearless. But because I knew, deep in my bones, that staying put in the life I had outgrown would kill my spirit faster than anything unknown ever could.
The Truth About Starting Over (No One Talks About This Sh*t)
Let’s get something straight: starting over isn’t just about discovery and reinvention. It’s about unlearning everything you thought you were supposed to be.
You spend decades learning and absorbing the rules of life and how to succeed—what we should do, who we should be, how we should live. You build identities around careers, relationships, and the roles you’ve played. And then, when life pulls the rug out from under you, you will eventually realize:
- So much of what you thought was YOU was really just a mask you wore to fit those rules.
- Retirement isn’t just about losing a paycheck, it’s about losing versions of yourself you didn’t realize were only masks.
- The hardest part of transformation isn’t making the big leap—it’s surviving the messy middle, the space between what was and what will be.
I have seen the messy middle before. (Maybe you have, too.)
- The girl who left Dallas to chase adventure in NYC, only to get pulled back into a life she wasn’t ready for.
- The woman who knew, walking down the aisle, that she wasn’t making the right choice—but did it anyway because it was “the next step.”
- The person who spent years in a career others appreciated ahead of her own truth.
Then I stopped.
And let me tell you—the moment you stop living for others and start choosing yourself? It’s both liberating and terrifying.
The Ugly, Beautiful Process of Reinvention
Reinvention sounds sexy on paper. The reality? It’s raw, uncomfortable, and full of moments that make you question everything.
There were days I doubted myself. Hell, I still do! Living in France, waking up, few real connections, not speaking the language fluently, no “normal” safety net, thinking: What the hell have I done?
There are still nights loneliness and doubt can hit like a freight train. Grief has a way of sneaking up when you least expect it.
There are still moments I wonder if I should go back to what was familiar. Even though I KNOW that life no longer fits, the comfort of familiarity is so enticing.
But here’s the thing: growth is never comfortable. Growth happens when you sit in the uncertainty, feel all the uncomfortable sh*t, and decide to move forward anyway.
And that’s what I did. That’s what I’m continuing to do.
If You’re in the Messy Middle Right Now, Read This
Maybe you’re standing at your own crossroads. Maybe you’re stuck in a life that no longer fits but you have no idea what’s next. Maybe you’re scared to take the leap because, let’s be real, the unknown is f***ing terrifying.
I see you. And here’s what I want you to know:
- You don’t need to have it all figured out to move forward. Just take the next right step.
- You’re allowed to grieve the old version of you. Even the one that kept you small.
- Fear doesn’t mean stop. It means pay attention. Listen to what it’s telling you, but don’t let it chain you to a life that no longer fits.
- You are not stuck. You are in progress.
The messy middle isn’t a failure. It’s a transition. And if you’re in it right now, you’re not lost—you’re on your way.
What’s Next for Me (And Maybe You, Too?)
This whole journey has inspired me to write a book: Navigating the Messy Middle: A Guide Through Uncertainty to Agency. It’s for women (and anyone, really) who are done following outdated expectations and are ready to reclaim their lives and may need a bit of direction and an “atta girl” or two.
If you want a sneak peek, let me know. I’m looking for women who are interested in, not only the content but in helping make the book as good and relevant as it can be. Feedback is required.
I’m also launching Wayfinder, a course for women ready to move through the Messy Middle of uncertainty with confidence. I’m looking for a small group of beta testers before the official launch late spring/early summer 2025—if that sounds like you, let’s talk.
And hey—if any of this hit home for you, drop a comment. Tell me: What’s your next bold move? I’d love to hear.
Here’s to the messy, beautiful, f***ing-worth-it process of becoming.
Lynnelle
Lynnelle Wilson helps women navigate the messy middle of life transitions through her Wayfinding programs and upcoming book “Navigating the Messy Middle.” A certified Life Transition Specialist and Teacher of Presence, she guides women who feel stuck or invisible to reclaim their agency and rebuild lives that feel true—not just familiar. Currently living in France and walking her talk about bold reinvention. Visit https://www.bold-women.com and https://www.youtube.com/@bold-women