By Health & Wellness Editor Kathy Whelan
In my health coaching practice, I find clients often lack confidence that they can make a certain change, even when they consider it very important. Initially I may believe in my clients’ prospects for success more than they do. Sometimes this is due to past experiences they perceive as failures. Looking together at those “failures,” we are usually able to see them as learning experiences and even as partial successes, which helps build confidence.
It also helps to look at personal strengths that have manifested in other spheres of life. Once we uncover these strengths and see them as transferable – able to be harnessed for success in a new area – confidence grows further.
This might sound easy, but it isn’t. Our healthcare system has trained us to look at what’s wrong with us more than what’s right with us. That’s to be expected when you seek help for a medical problem. But you’re among a lucky few if your doctor begins your regular check-up by asking what’s going well for you and how that happened. It’s no wonder we don’t automatically think of our personal strengths when it comes to our health. This is especially true at challenging times when it’s easier to see our vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
Thanks to the field of positive psychology, it doesn’t have to be that way. Early in this century, pioneering research led by psychologists Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman examined numerous cultures around the world throughout history, seeking to discover the most positive aspects of human nature – the best in people, what helps them flourish and function optimally.
What emerged from their research was six virtues (in bold below) and 24 associated character strengths, which we each possess to varying degrees:
- Wisdom and Knowledge: creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective
- Humanity: love, kindness, social intelligence
- Justice: teamwork, fairness, leadership
- Courage: bravery, perseverance, integrity, enthusiasm
- Temperance: forgiveness, humility, prudence, self-control
- Transcendence: appreciation of beauty and excellence, purpose, gratitude, optimism, humor
Character strengths represent the positive parts of our personality, the inner resources and capacities that impact how we think, feel and behave and that can produce positive outcomes for our wellbeing.
Today these character strengths are cataloged in the VIA Survey, a free personality test that measures the extent to which an individual possesses each one. Once aware of our greatest strengths, we can use them to face challenges, work toward goals and feel more fulfilled.
Seeing one’s strengths on paper is informative, but it may be just a starting point. Ryan Niemiec, PsyD has observed a “strengths blindness” in our culture. He says it’s often easier to spot strengths in others than in ourselves, which may explain in part why I am often aware of my clients’ strengths before they are.
Questions like “Who am I at my best?” or “What am I most proud of?” can help identify strengths in a more experiential way. “What energizes me?” and “How does someone who ‘gets’ me describe what’s good about me?” are other useful questions. Being mindful and observing our behavior will help us see what contributes to our successes.
Once strengths are identified, they can be used in new ways. If you want to improve your diet and have a love of learning, you could use this strength to research recipes for healthy meals. Or you could use it to see setbacks in reaching a goal as useful learning experiences. Curiosity could support you in discovering interesting new walking routes that inspire you to get more exercise. The perseverance you use at work could support your pursuit of a health goal on challenging days. Forgiveness could help you deal with the inevitable setbacks we face when trying something new.
If all the strengths are indeed present in each of us to some degree, weaknesses are better thought of as underdeveloped strengths that, with patience and self-compassion, can be cultivated and grown. Telling ourselves we have not yet developed a certain strength leaves the door open to future growth.
Like most things, strengths can be overused as when persistence becomes obsessiveness, bravery becomes foolhardiness or curiosity becomes nosiness. Being mindful of how we are employing our strengths helps us put them to their best use.
As you think of what strengths support you in various areas of life and experiment with using them in new ways, you will find new pathways to success in achieving your goals. Having done so will make you realize you really are stronger than you thought.
Kathy Whelan left a successful Wall Street legal career when her doctor warned that her lifestyle of overwork and lack of self-care were not sustainable. She had always been interested in the relationship between lifestyle and health, so eventually Kathy returned to her undergraduate alma mater Duke University to become a certified Integrative Health Coach, with additional training in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. Integrative Health Coaching is based in the neuroscience of behavioral change. Kathy calls it the missing link in addressing individual and national health crises. It’s the foundation of her unique health and wellness coaching for corporate and individual clients. Kathy’s work has been featured in media including The Boston Globe. Learn more at www.whelanwellness.com