By Health & Wellness Editor Kathy Whelan
Last fall, when I enrolled in an adult education class called Beginning Spanish, I had one thing in mind. It had felt presumptuous to travel abroad and expect everyone everywhere to speak English. It would be more courteous, I thought, to learn something of the language that’s native to so many countries.
Then Fear Struck
Despite the word “Beginning,” I felt dread as my first class approached. Could I really learn a new language at my age? Seeing my fellow students on Zoom should have been reassuring since it was a good guess that they too had been out of the classroom for a while. I shouldn’t have felt alone in my insecurity when the teacher opened the first class without a word of English.
A Lightbulb Moment
I soon realized I had more to learn in Spanish class than the language itself. There were several important lessons to be learned about myself and my approach to new challenges. I decided I needed to do three things:
1. Find a new way to study.
In college, my study habits had usually boiled down to cramming a ton of information into an all-nighter before a test. It worked well then, but I knew it wouldn’t now. Not only would I pay a steeper price for staying up all night, but the information wouldn’t stick with me.
So I began reviewing my course materials every day or two. It helped a lot but not enough to satisfy me. My teacher liked to call on students rather than take volunteers. I felt embarrassment and shame whenever I stumbled over an answer or mispronounced a word, which everyone did from time to time. I toyed with the idea of making an excuse for dropping the course but knew I wouldn’t feel good about myself if I did.
2. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Then it hit me. It’s always hard to try new things because doing so means going outside our comfort zone, the place where things feel safe. But I knew – hadn’t I always preached this to my health coaching clients? – that if we stay where it’s comfortable, we never enter the so-called learning and growth zone. I also knew that leaving the comfort zone involves fear, and fear involves stress. I needed to practice what I preach and try to see my stress as providing the energy and mental drive I needed to do my best.
3. Deal with Negative Self-Talk.
My Inner Critic – that voice in our heads that tells us we’re unworthy, unskilled, too old, or any number of other things – was popping up regularly. I knew these messages were ones I’d internalized from someone in the past who may have been trying to protect me from failure. And I knew they were not necessarily true. I needed to notice these messages and challenge them.
I’d be lying if I told you I’ve been completely successful with these three tools: adopting a new study habit, reframing my fear, and muting my Inner Critic. But I’m on my way and am now taking Advanced Beginner Spanish. And actually – I can hardly believe I’m saying this – I’m enjoying it.
Do you have a challenge you’d take on if you felt more confident? I like to keep in mind a question from the newsletter of Atomic Habits author James Clear: “If you wait, will it get easier, or will you just be older?” Let me be the guide by your side. Read about my health and wellness coaching here and contact me for a complimentary consultation.
Kathy Whelan left a successful Wall Street legal career when she became aware of the hazards posed by a lifestyle of overwork and lack of self-care. Having prioritized health earlier in her life and in raising her family, Kathy eventually returned to her undergraduate alma mater, Duke University, to become a certified Integrative Health Coach, with additional training in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. She later became a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC). Kathy’s coaching has its roots in the neuroscience of behavior change. She calls it the missing link between individuals and the health care system. You can learn more about Kathy and her work at www.whelanwellness.com and view her newsletter on Substack at (https://whelank.substack.com?utm_campaign=email-home&r=397f81)