It’s been a while since I posted– summer was busy and my day job interfered with writing to you. Hope you had a good summer.
I’ve mentioned before that I was one of 52 first cousins. Some of us have gone to the great front porch in the sky, but most of us are still here, scattered from Boston to Laguna Beach and many points between.
Back in the day most of the family lived within 20 miles of each other, so cousins got to see each other more than just at the holidays. All sides of the families knew each other; people who weren’t related were still considered cousins. Sundays meant going to your place of worship and then going to a big family lunch. It was a good way to grow up, being surrounded by people we used to joke had to love you.
When your relationship with people goes back to sharing cribs, bathtubs and first steps you can learn to intuit what they’re thinking and feeling even if they don’t say a word.
Without meaning to, the cousins in our age group and a few years older developed a shorthand for how we communicated with each other. This talent was especially helpful when we were communicating during recitals, sermons, and funerals where we were encouraged to zip it. Your eyes would narrow. Your eyes would widen. An eyebrow would move ever so slightly higher. You’d stand up even straighter than your parents were telling you to. Your mouth would move in a way that was undetectable to other humans.
Then highways got built, warmer climates called, and there were new business opportunities elsewhere. Our family orbit spread out to very long car rides and flights away.
But what has always amazed me is that even though some of us now only see each other during the summer, or on random trips, our communication shorthand has survived the years and distance.
Someone who wasn’t invited shows up with someone who was – delighted to see you!
Someone’s about to have one drink too many – come help me with the coffee!
Someone’s about to repeat something they don’t know was said in confidence – did I tell you I about this great new movie?
Someone’s the first to realize there’s way too much heat in a dish – it looks delicious! What a shame I had such a late lunch!
Meanwhile eyes are moving, lips are moving, spines are straightening – our superpower still works. Let us hope we always use it for good.
XO Brenda