By Arts & Culture Editor Joan Kirschner
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary: “Retired describes an individual who has permanently withdrawn from their working life or professional career, usually due to age. It signifies the end of full-time employment, often accompanied by pension benefits or social security. It also refers to something secluded, such as a “retired village” or “retired little village.” Some synonyms given are “inactive, pensioned, superannuated, discharged” and for me, the most distressing, “idle.” There are others: from Collins’ dictionary, “withdrawn or apart from the world.” Synonyms: “isolated, removed, solitary.”
All that packs a rather devastating punch. The connotations are not positive. In fact, they promote images of older people that are downright negative.
A few months ago, I decided to volunteer with an organization that provides donated gently used or new clothing of quality for adult clients (mostly women) who are trying to reboot their lives after homelessness, incarceration, or domestic abuse. Other clients are refugees. Volunteers assist them in selecting a wardrobe. I was very excited to get started with this worthy enterprise.
When I arrived for my first shift, the young manager wasn’t welcoming. She didn’t ask me about my background or skills, or why I had volunteered. She asked, “Are you retired?” I was astounded. I told her “No.” Would she have asked me that if I didn’t have some gray hair and a few wrinkles? She hid me away in the back room where I spent the entire shift sorting donations. I didn’t return, because of her ageist attitude and because the location was a lengthy commute by train, subway, and on foot, though that wouldn’t have mattered had I been welcomed. I’ve since found other volunteer opportunities.
I began a new decade with my 70th birthday last June. Were I to live to 100, I have 70% of my lifespan behind me. Given that such longevity is not a family trait, I’m looking at perhaps 15-20% remaining. It is disconcerting to think that way, but it is rooted in the mathematics of probability and is an impetus for action.
Accordingly, age, aging and ageism are topics I’ve been examining closely. With the highly publicized deaths of icons like Diane Keaton at 79, and Catherine O’Hara at 71, hovering over my consciousness, I feel more compelled than ever to spend my time productively and enjoyably: seeing, doing – and I hope – contributing my attention and energy where they are both useful and appreciated.
A few years ago, I worked for a company that was focused on reducing the social isolation that many older people feel. Their mission was an important one, but it was ultimately a for-profit venture and funding dried up. Unfortunately, it shut down. The upside was that I became familiar with the work of gerontologists, writers, podcasters and others who are trying to change the negative perception of aging (and the ageism so prominent in the workplace for people as young as 40) in our society. Just a few of those thought leaders are Stella Fosse, Jeanette Leardi, and Ande Lyons – but there are many more to discover.
Book suggestions: I’ve recently read and recommend the memoirs of writer Susan Orlean, Joyride, Paul Newman’s The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Man, and the biography The Elements of Marie Curie: How the Glow of Radium Lit a Path for Women in Science by Dava Sobel. In Room on the Sea by André Aciman, one of its three compelling novellas tells the story of a couple who formed their attachment later in life.
Joan Kirschner is a freelance writer and editor who reviews books, museum exhibitions, theater, film, music, and travel experiences. Her commentary previously appeared on SonsiWoman.com, UllaPopken.com, WomenofGloucesterCounty.com, Trazzler.com, and IndieReader.com. She attributes a lifelong love of reading and cultural events to parents who encouraged her early on. Joan began as a retail and mail order catalog copywriter in the pre-digital age. She advanced through the ranks and changes in technology, adding corporate communications, social media, and digital advertising and promotion to her experience. Surrounded by the babble of languages in Manhattan and Brooklyn and sympathizing with the challenges of non-English speakers, she earned a certificate in the Teaching of English as Second Language (TESOL) and began teaching and tutoring adults and college students. Joan is a reviewer at Reader Views and covers books and the arts on her blog, No Shortage of Words.